i was born at 1989's it seems i can't remember how am i when i was born... but my mother told me that when i nearly born.. her grandfather passed away... when he's about to see my born... i don't know... but my important moments always connected with someone passed away... am i bringer of the death? when i was at elementary school i was ever once died... or some people called it "mati suri" almost 1 month i spent my life in hospital... even my mother have asked someone to draw a painting of my face.... most of family member comes and when they in hospital they felt that i'm already passed away... at that time i felt that i was walking with my late grandmother into a peaceful place... but i dont know why i didn't want to go there and i was going back by myself.... sometimes when i remember that time.. i think to myself... why am i turn around? it's more good to me when i was gone at those times.. i was innocent... pure.... at that time.... looking myself today at mirror... i'm not that kid anymore... i've make so many people pull a long face... my college hasn't finished at the time it must be finished.... i still a burden to my mother... even a single girlfriend i don't even have it...damn... am i too ugly? or am i too unlucky? that all past times
right now i tried to change.... repair my looks... my attitude...i just wish someone could accompany me an makes me un-lonely :)
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